I Love Your Kids -- But ...
My summer days -- shortly after the dawn-of-time -- were spent cruising the neighborhood and knocking on doors to ask residents if they would "please" like their lawns mowed. It wasn't that I liked mowing lawns, it was just that I knew if I wanted anything resembling either spending money, or to be able to purchase new garments for the forthcoming school year, I'd better earn a few dollars. When fall came, there were leaves to be raked, and with winter (in the days of global chilling) came snow to be shoveled. In my little entrepreneurial ventures, I didn't see myself as hard-done-by, since every other kid of my acquaintance was doing similar things. In fact, the lawn cutting competition was fierce.
"I'm sorry, Ian, but young Myron Sleet is cutting our grass. Such a nice boy."
That bastard, I thought.
So now, the era of entrepreneurial youngsters has obviously changed. My wife and I have lived in our current suburban home for nearly six years, and not once has a kid come by to offer to do anything for us. There are kids in the area. What in hell is wrong with them? What in hell is wrong with parents who aren't ordering them to get their asses out there and make themselves productive? My brothers and I, my friends, and probably my entire generation were 'expected' to make ourselves busy during vacation.
But, none of the foregoing means I don't have interaction with your kids. Indeed I do. They will ring my doorbell and, smiling sweetly, will ask if I would like to buy a chocolate bar to support their gym club, dance troupe, soccer team, or whatever. Sometimes they don't even offer the chocolate bar as recompense for my contribution. I've had incidents of just plain, blatant begging. I must confess, it pisses me off.
I am certain your kids are wonderful young people, enterprising and talented no doubt. But, do I give a sweet goddamn if their soccer team or dance troupe needs funding? I do not. If you want your children to be involved in such activities, then God love you, and why aren't you supporting them in what they are doing? Why are you intruding on homeowners? And, if you aren't nailing me at my doorstep, you are nailing me at the supermarket, where there is scarcely a Saturday that goes by that there isn't a smiling youngster offering to sell me an apple or somesuch to help support somebody else's activity. I don't even like apples, for heaven's sake!
It's not that I'm a skinflint. I mean, I am, but that's not the issue here. I support charities. I support charities that are designed to help the helpless, not able bodied 'other peoples' kids. I support the Heart and Stroke Foundation, the Cancer Society, the MS Society, and if the Home for Wayward Ladies of the Evening had a society, I might even support them. I have served on countless boards over the years, and I have readily volunteered to help those who need a hand -- and who 'deserve' that helping hand. Your kids' soccer teams, softball teams, dance troupes and gymnastics ventures don't qualify -- sorry.
Maybe if your kids actually got out and hustled their energetic little asses to do something good for somebody in the community, I'd feel more sympathetic.
"I'm sorry, Ian, but young Myron Sleet is cutting our grass. Such a nice boy."
That bastard, I thought.
So now, the era of entrepreneurial youngsters has obviously changed. My wife and I have lived in our current suburban home for nearly six years, and not once has a kid come by to offer to do anything for us. There are kids in the area. What in hell is wrong with them? What in hell is wrong with parents who aren't ordering them to get their asses out there and make themselves productive? My brothers and I, my friends, and probably my entire generation were 'expected' to make ourselves busy during vacation.
But, none of the foregoing means I don't have interaction with your kids. Indeed I do. They will ring my doorbell and, smiling sweetly, will ask if I would like to buy a chocolate bar to support their gym club, dance troupe, soccer team, or whatever. Sometimes they don't even offer the chocolate bar as recompense for my contribution. I've had incidents of just plain, blatant begging. I must confess, it pisses me off.
I am certain your kids are wonderful young people, enterprising and talented no doubt. But, do I give a sweet goddamn if their soccer team or dance troupe needs funding? I do not. If you want your children to be involved in such activities, then God love you, and why aren't you supporting them in what they are doing? Why are you intruding on homeowners? And, if you aren't nailing me at my doorstep, you are nailing me at the supermarket, where there is scarcely a Saturday that goes by that there isn't a smiling youngster offering to sell me an apple or somesuch to help support somebody else's activity. I don't even like apples, for heaven's sake!
It's not that I'm a skinflint. I mean, I am, but that's not the issue here. I support charities. I support charities that are designed to help the helpless, not able bodied 'other peoples' kids. I support the Heart and Stroke Foundation, the Cancer Society, the MS Society, and if the Home for Wayward Ladies of the Evening had a society, I might even support them. I have served on countless boards over the years, and I have readily volunteered to help those who need a hand -- and who 'deserve' that helping hand. Your kids' soccer teams, softball teams, dance troupes and gymnastics ventures don't qualify -- sorry.
Maybe if your kids actually got out and hustled their energetic little asses to do something good for somebody in the community, I'd feel more sympathetic.
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